Yep, this one is going a bit deep ... but come with me as this is apt to get a bit scary for a bunni on her own!
I am / have been clinically depressed, I have fought the black dog of depression many, many times - and I just wanted to take a moment to talk about how depression works in a Witches world - especially one where the art of affirmations, positive thinking and manifesting your reality are all led from your emotions! Can you do magick when you are sitting in a cloud of gloom???
There is a great child's programme - I'm not sure if it's still being shown called Ruby Gloom and there is a character on there and she is the Queen of Negativity!! ............ Misery
I digress..... Can you do magick when you are facing a pit of bleak??? - well, yes you can - will the outcome be what you desire - pretty much no.... and that's where the Divine comes in - you have to have faith, you have to trust in your Goddess, God, Great Spirit or whatever you call the Divine - and that's one heck of a leap of faith..........
When I am at my worst I don't hear positives I only hear the negative and sometimes I hear a negative that just isn't there - you can say "You look nice today" and I'll hear - Jeez you look cwap 99% of the time good to know you can pull it together when you can be bothered! So, for someone like me - to read the words 'believe in yourself and it will happen' - there is a HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE voice yelling in my head "Yeah right, of course it will............ hahahahahaha - go on make my day and fail again"...
That's the voice that has to be gagged, that's the voice that sabotages your efforts and that's the voice of depression.
Now, this has been a pretty gloomy blog and I'm sorry for that - but on my wanderings round t'net and in and out of forums I've seen and talked to lots of people with depression, but I've never read anyone actually come out and say "Yes you can walk this Path, yes you can do everything that everyone else can do - but when you are down then it's going to be tough, it's going to be difficult to keep the Faith because this is a Path that is linked to your emotions and if you are in a 'bad' place then light and love has to work hard to find you"
However, one thing I know IF you are struggling and IF you do seek help and guidance then the Divine WILL answer you and WILL light the way back .......... all you have to do is ask!!
love and bright blessings to you all
bunni x x x