Meditation Muses

When I first started on this Path I really struggled with meditation - the mind monkey just kept 'monkeying' around and I found it incredibly difficult to control it - then I had a breakthrough and I had the most amazing meditations ......... now, well now they are different!

I started to worry that I was losing the one thing that I felt I was good at - and then I realised that my meditation have matured and changed as I've matured and changed - I no longer need them to be like mini stories that I could follow - now an image or phrase will come to me and that will be what I need to know..

But, it got me thinking (as is my way) to how other things have changed and grown and adapted with me as I've trod the Path of the Old Ones...

Personally, I think the biggest change in me is my confidence in my own ability - in my Self, my intuition and my faith - I still wibble and wobble - but they are becoming less and less frequent.  I wrote on someone's FB status the other day that becoming enlightened doesn't mean that we don't have any stress or worries it's just that we now have the tools to help us to overcome them quicker!

LOL - i've just written that and started to giggle - I had a wobble on Saturday, a dear friend of mine has 'bigged' me up to someone that is incredibly knowledgeable and with masses of experience in all areas and now I am questioning myself about whether I can actually do what she was bigging me up about!!

I think, to some extent, it's good to wobble, it keeps us on our toes, it keeps us searching for answers to our questions and it keeps us looking for ways to grow and improve - the one thing I really don't want to do is take any of my Gifts or abilities for granted ..........

This is sooo not what I was going to blog about - but, it is what it is!

love and blessings

Raven x x x

*image found on google  - artist unkown*

Yule Poem

A look back at the 2012

Every year around this time I take a moment to look back on all that has happened throughout the year for me to take stock and to find areas that I need to work on and to give thanks and appreciate all the blessings which in the normal day - to - day grind get missed!

For some reason today seems to be the day that I do that - it has been a total roller coaster of a year - some massive highs with equally massive lows - but lets see how much I remember!

January - I started the year on tenterhooks about my job - I was hopeful that I would get taken on permanently and that the woman I was covering maternity leave for wouldn't come back - I was still looking at ways to continue my Witchy studies and was feeling a bit disconnected from my Path - I closed Witches Haven down and had a 'parting of the ways' with some dear friends (who I still miss like crazy) but the KW forum was there for me to continue journalling! 

February - was a whirl wind of job interviews and getting knocked back and building myself up for the next one and getting knocked back and rejected and then finally I got a bit ranty with the Goddess and stopped allowing people to use me as a doormat - I don't think that was all about the job but it needed to be said - and in March the Goddess answered my prayers and blessed me with THE job!

March - urgh how I don't want to remember this month - this was the month that I was guided to do a releasing ritual - I had to throw chocolate from my Ostara altar into the sea and each chocolate had a fear, worry, insecurity to take with it (this was just before landing the job) .... I was let go from my employment and was in a hiatus - so I met up with Tansy and whilst drinking chai latte the seed for the KWSNW was born ....... and then I got the call that I had the job - we are woot, woot right - two weeks into working for them and Mum died - yes she was ill, very ill, but it was sudden.  Then, another of my friends left the circle of friendship - seems March was a total balance of gain and loss...

April - we sent Mum onto Summerlands and I settled down to live life without her guidance (although she is always near me) and we wrote the lessons for KWSNW - it was good to focus on that and not to be blindsided by grief - but we all know you can't hide from emotions - they so come and 'get ya' when you are least expecting it!!! My Path was taking leaps and bounds and the Empathy was just one of the gifts that I started to appreciate and learn to work with

May - this was a busy, busy hectic month - the day Tin told us she'd booked the flights was the day I found out that I had to move out of my house for a couple of weeks so my daughter and her family would have somewhere to stay when their house was sorted out by the landlord .....confused - yes me too! But, the Goddess knows what she is doing - and the month we went live with the school  - Ohhhhh and just one small, tiny thing - I met my Patron Goddess (who I've been working with for three whole years - but sometimes I'm a little slow!!!!)

June - do you know I really can't remember much about June - I had my haircut short (totally regret that) but other than that I really didn't have that much going on!  Ohhh wait - I remember now - TIN came :D we spent many happy hours doing Witchy stuff in Witchy places accompanied by a bear called Arthur ... we also had all the team leaders in the same country so we did a lot of bonding :) and those bonds are now forged so tight that nothing will break them !!! This was also the month that I had the first little inkling that I was able to channel Spirit!

July - I think that the events thus far just caught up with me and I scuttled back into my head for a while to get things straight  - the school continued to flourish and although I missed Tin like mad (still do) our Spirits are now so connected that it actually feels strange to know that she is so far away - I feel like she is in the next room - but Tansy, Sun and I continued to met up and plan and giggle and laugh and eat cake, something happened in this month that cemented the friendship between us all it's very definitely a Sisterhood - we will bicker, we will sulk and we will giggle 'cos that's what Sisters do!

August - I don't really remember anything happening ......... on the mundane level I know I was still struggling with the loss of Mum and housework - I remember doing a lot of decluttering! Ohh and I celebrated 14 years marriage with hubby!

September - Ahhh this was another roller coaster month for me - our first offline ritual - Mabon - my poem went viral on FB and I felt all kinds of emotions because of that .... and as we were at QECP for our ritual I heard the news that my Aunt had passed to Summerland - Mabon showed me the true meaning of balance that day!

October - Mmmm Samhain and reading for the students at the school - and finally trying my hand at Scrying - I think this month I spent a lot of time working on my gifts and learning ways to work with them and not fight them - my poor little Runes tho have become almost blank I've used them so much - I may just have to invest in some more!!! LOL - our Samhain ritual will forever be etched on my mind as it was the first that we drummed at - yep we can keep time - but stopping at the same time - that one defeated us - but I personally love the laughter we bring to our rituals ..........

November - Not a good month - things seemed to suddenly fall apart for several of my friends in relationships and the dominant emotion of the month was sadness..... Unfortunately, I had got blase about shielding and had a 'wake up' call but, that led to some revelations and some more work on myself - and rather than wobble and hide - I used the lesson to grow!

And that brings us to December - this month is tough for everyone, but I'm getting through it - it will be exactly how it needs to be and I will be in exactly the right place at the right time to deal with it ........ I am really looking forward to our ritual at QECP on the 29th - it will be cold, it will be frosty and I will be surrounded by my loved ones both in Spirit and the physical - what's not to get excited about???

So, looking back how has this year gone for me ......... well, someone said 2012 would be a BIG year - and they weren't wrong - but I have a feeling the 2013 is going to be an AWESOME year - so much exciting stuff to come from the School and work and I have a feeling that my Gifts are going to keep growing .... I have a Peruvian Guide now that just loves to 'nod' at me......... :)

I, heartily recommend doing this - taking a moment and just looking back over the year - if you think it's been all doom and gloom - I think you will be wonderfully surprised at how many blessings and good times the Goddess gave you!

love and blessings to all

Raven x x x

Free flowing thoughts

I was sat here just a moment ago, pondering and it bought me here - why I don't know yet - this is a free flow ponder session - I may hit delete, I may post - we will see how we go!

It's only been recently that I've really embraced my gift of Empathy and used it with the appreciation of what a gift it is ... when I feel it's blocked or 'off' - then I just don't feel right I feel outcast and excluded from my own life...

So, it's been with a tinge of regret that I've read some of my earlier ramblings on the subject and called my gift a curse ......... yes, when it's not used properly it can be a right pain in buttocks.... used is the wrong word but the word I want is just out of reach...

Empathy is really only a curse when you don't shield, or you don't listen to the messages - fighting against it is like fighting anything - fight a person and chances are they will fight back - fight the Divine and you are asking for trouble, the whole Cosmos chucking stuff at ya!

So, I would suggest if you are in anyway an Empath learn to love your gift, learn to savour the many nuances that it opens up to you in your life - it's not all doom and gloom and depression and suicide...

Opening myself up recently to the sound of a baby chuckling is an indescribable bolt of joy - such innocence, such a feeling of purity...

We learn the craft, we learn our lessons at school and we learn how to drive a car - but it's difficult to teach Empathy because it is such a personal thing - there isn't any two Empaths I know that work the same way - but what saddens me and upsets me - is the amount of people that say they are Empaths and then shield themselves into a prison of their own making....

The Law of Attraction says that what we think will manifest into our lives - so, follow that thought through and you find Empaths deliberately shutting themselves off because they 'fear' letting other people's negative emotions get them down - it's a vicious cycle the more they fear the stronger the prison bars ......... and it saddens me ..........

If they could only feel the joy that people hold within them too - the love that surrounds them - the good in people if you will, yes the papers are full of nasty stuff - we humans can and frequently are incredibly wicked and horrible to other humans, to animals and to our wonderful planet ...

Being an Empath you can make a difference - if you learn to radiate that joy that you feel when you communicate with the Divine - if you can release the love in your heart to the Universe so that others can feel it - just a little change - but think about it .............

We all know what a little energy can do - think about how much change all the Empath's could make if we just released our joy to the world?

People are drawn to Empaths because of their caring, sharing nature - they want to be with us, they want us to help them (whether they actually know this or not) it's how we are - it's what we are - and I want to celebrate that - I want to cheer and do a little jig.........

So, do I think that Empathy is a curse......... No, not anymore, because I've learned to work with it...and that's another thing, there are books and books and books out there about Candle magic, Runes, Herbs, Oils - but there are very few (being honest I've yet to find one) that actually teaches you how to handle your Empathy.........

You can't learn to be Empathic - you either are  or you aren't - but you can learn to control it, you can learn to live with it and  you can learn to love it!!!!!!!!!!

love Raven x x x

Yule memories

I have always loved this time of year - it's the Season for giving and I love to give (don't get me wrong I love to receive as well.... but the giving is what really excites me!!)

This year I am really struggling to find any Seasonal festivities within myself and I think a good part of that is missing my Mum......... I know everyone misses their loved ones at this time of year but for me Christmas (Mum wasn't a Pagan) was her most favorite time of the year.

She would start to stockpile presents in March and by now, everytime I would go round there after work there would be a flurry of activity with Dad wrapping (and cursing) the presents .... Mum worrying she hadn't bought enough - Goddess forgive if one of the grandchildren had one more present than the other..

One year we laid them all out on the bed and did a 'count' - one boy grandchild had 13 presents and the other had 15 ......... so, into town she sent me for another two presents - she just couldn't grasp the concept that she could take one present from one to the other - everything was bought personally with that particular person in mind .... she abhorred the idea of vouchers or giving money .... thought that was lazy and a quick way out ......... LOL - many an argument with me about that one!!!

In her later years, she got a bit too carried away - we had Christmas Eve presents, stockings, Main presents, table presents, Old Faithful presents and then Old Years Night we had the whole family gather for tree presents...............

I remember one year we asked her for a pet - we asked for a pet beginning with D... four legs and a waggy tail .............. so, she got us ................two ducks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - she has a brilliant sense of humor before the illness stole it from her ...........

My Dad is doing what he can and I know that he misses her too - but it's not the same - it's not the same for him or for me or for any of us - at this time of year Mum was larger than life ...........

Still, the last thing she would want is for me to be sad and miserable - she'd want me to go out there and forge my own traditions, make my family as happy as she made hers and to continue the tradition of loving this season ............

So, I better go and get that tree up then :)

love Raven x x x

Winter blues, Weekends away, Colds

I've been feeling a little bit blurgh lately - nothing that I could definitely point at and say "that's what's bugging me" but lots and lots of little things and I blogged last time about not making enough time for me ....

But, I don't think that's what was bothering me - because I do meditate each night and I do balance my chakras and reiki myself - so whilst I don't always put myself first I do make time for me and for my Path - so, we went on with the search...

I don't know if it's Winter Blues - I love Spring and Autumn - I like Summer - but I'm not a fan of winter unless it snows .... I do get bored of constant rain (unfortunate that living in England) but I'm not 100% convinced it's that that's bugging me either ..........

It's like an irritating itch - it's just out of reach and I can't scratch it...........

However, I do feel a bit better as I've just been away on a marvelous weekend to Marbella with work - there wasn't any work involved it was our company conference and it was a total blast for the first time in Goddess alone knows how long - I wasn't a wife, mother, daughter, sister or Grandmother - I was just ME and it was great .............

But, now I have the downside - I am full of a cold and so, I'm heading off up to bed and an early night!!!

love to all

Raven x x x