Thursday, 24 July 2014

Mirror personalities ......




This is something that has been rumbling round my brain for a while - so I thought I'd get it out and put it somewhere where I can see it in black and white and muse upon it ....

First of all - what is a Mirror personality - well, in my opinion they are the people that always seem to be in a group, when you are talking they have had exactly the same experiences as the other people in the group.... sometimes 'bigger and better' .... you know the ones if you have a bad experience in a shop, so did they.  If you have an emotional issue, so do they and they can then empathise with you and you find yourself sharing details that you wouldn't normally .... they get really close to you and you call them friend......

In my experience, a person with a mirror personality has no substance once you scratch the surface, they have no real experiences only what they have heard from other people and these people soon lose friends and find themselves going from group to group and when things go bad it's 'always' the other person, they are jealous, they are bullying, they are manipulative etc.

The 'mirror' will always reflect back to you what you are thinking and feeling, they will come across as the best friend you have ever had - they just so get you! ..... but, in reality they are doing the exact same thing to everyone else that they have in their circle ....

I have, fortunately, only met a handful of people that I would call 'mirrors' and it's always been a relationship that has ended badly - and yep, I've done the whole 'it must be me' thing, where I have blamed myself - I mean how can this person be to blame - they sooooo got me and I must have let them down right?  Wrong! .... a 'mirror' doesn't have real feelings for anyone - they are chameleon like in their dealings with people and when someone comes along that can give them more or are more useful to them then they discard friends like yesterday's newspapers ....

Unfortunately, the downside of knowing a 'mirror' is that once you realise how you have been manipulated and used it's hard to trust - this personality is likely to be quite popular and therefore when the 'friendship' ends you end up losing more than one person as the 'mirror' has gone round the 'group' reflecting back to them all what they want to see .... so, how do you learn to trust again?

Be true to yourself, learn to love yourself, allow yourself to grieve and allow yourself to forgive yourself and them, they can't help their personality and you deserve to know that you did nothing wrong .... forgiveness doesn't mean that you forget, and compassion doesn't mean that you condone - all it means is that you shed light on the part of yourself that needed to be in front of the mirror in the first place ..... it's hard, it's upsetting and it's, at times totally de-moralising, but it's worthwhile...

Eventually, all mirrors lose their shine and begin to crack but by then, you will be surrounded by the love of real friends that don't just reflect back to you but show you when you are wrong, guide you when you are lost and hug you when the going gets tough .....

To an extent we are all 'mirrors' we all have public masks that we put on before we allow people to get close to us and for them to see the real us, the authentic 'warts and all' us.  How can you tell a 'mirror' personality to a genuine person?  Look at how they act, are they the same with everyone, or do they change 'personalities' when they are in different settings?  A 'mirror' will always reflect the environment they are in - so if you are in a group and the group is gossiping and the 'mirror' is slating someone that you've seen them be everso friendly with before - then chances are they are just reflecting so that they can be liked....

Don't be a 'mirror' - show your true self - and let the people that love you really love you warts an all

love and angel blessings to you all

Lesley x x x






1 comment: