I am / have been clinically depressed, I have fought the black dog of depression many, many times - and I just wanted to take a moment to talk about how depression works in a Witches world - especially one where the art of affirmations, positive thinking and manifesting your reality are all led from your emotions! Can you do magick when you are sitting in a cloud of gloom???
There is a great child's programme - I'm not sure if it's still being shown called Ruby Gloom and there is a character on there and she is the Queen of Negativity!! ............ Misery
I digress..... Can you do magick when you are facing a pit of bleak??? - well, yes you can - will the outcome be what you desire - pretty much no.... and that's where the Divine comes in - you have to have faith, you have to trust in your Goddess, God, Great Spirit or whatever you call the Divine - and that's one heck of a leap of faith..........
When I am at my worst I don't hear positives I only hear the negative and sometimes I hear a negative that just isn't there - you can say "You look nice today" and I'll hear - Jeez you look cwap 99% of the time good to know you can pull it together when you can be bothered! So, for someone like me - to read the words 'believe in yourself and it will happen' - there is a HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE voice yelling in my head "Yeah right, of course it will............ hahahahahaha - go on make my day and fail again"...
That's the voice that has to be gagged, that's the voice that sabotages your efforts and that's the voice of depression.
Now, this has been a pretty gloomy blog and I'm sorry for that - but on my wanderings round t'net and in and out of forums I've seen and talked to lots of people with depression, but I've never read anyone actually come out and say "Yes you can walk this Path, yes you can do everything that everyone else can do - but when you are down then it's going to be tough, it's going to be difficult to keep the Faith because this is a Path that is linked to your emotions and if you are in a 'bad' place then light and love has to work hard to find you"
However, one thing I know IF you are struggling and IF you do seek help and guidance then the Divine WILL answer you and WILL light the way back .......... all you have to do is ask!!
love and bright blessings to you all
bunni x x x
despite the gloom it was a wonderfully enlightening post. ~)O(~
ReplyDeleteI don't think this is all doom and gloom.. It is honest and courageous and based on reality. It is not easy to admit depression, such is the stigma society place on it.. and while I do not suffer from depression, there have been a few heinous issues tossed at us of late those have left me stressed and flat and I wonder how on earth can one practice when you feel so negative and low.. and then I read this. Bless you for your honesty and strength.
ReplyDeleteI agree that you can do magic when you are depressed. Since magic is a cooperative effort, what you are lacking in energy you borrow from your other magical/spiritual sources. Perhaps borrowing from these sources might also help you receive the energy you need to fight the depression itself.
ReplyDeleteI can relate on so many levels and am glad to have a kindred spirit on Depression. I actually chose Darkness in the Pagan Blog Project this week.
ReplyDeleteIt's tough to come to terms with depression ~ we WANT to be able to "just snap out of it" as many will suggest, but that is not even possible. Sometimes, it isn't possible even with heavy medications.
ReplyDeleteThe questions you've raised are ones I've asked myself many times over. Along with, "how much devastation can a person take before they just quit snapping back like a rubber band that has been stretched too far?" The elasticity wears out and we're left with a limp lifeless circle of nothing useful.
For me, communing with (or accepting that there even IS) Deity is difficult, but when I breathe in all the beauty around me, walk in the woods, watch my garden grow, listen to the music of singing birds, wonder at the beauty of the Moon...THOSE are usually the things that reinforce me and lighten my mood.
Thank you for your post!
Nothing doom or gloom about this post, in fact it is an incredibly empowering post. I completely understand where you are coming from as I too am a suffer of depression. It is hard to get motivated to do the magic or to make the connection when we are depressed but if we can it can lift us up like nothing else as it is a conscious act of awareness of our feelings and the decision to do something about it.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I think many of us struggle with this, but are afraid to admit it. This was just what I needed today!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your comments - and I'm glad we can all support each other .. love bunni x x x
ReplyDeleteI struggle with clinical depression too, and I know it's hard. I also have a hard time performing magic under those circumstances. It's like I'm so drained I can't even bother. The lack of being able to do anything magical makes me even more down...
ReplyDeleteThat being said, this last time I actually found my faith at the bottom of that hold - which was really interesting. I have to say that before I was a witch first and a pagan second and now I feel more like a Pagan first and a witch second? It's still hard to get on with life sometimes, but I feel my deities beside me even in that dark place. I hope it gets better for you.
Diagnosed clinically depressed here! And when I'm in my pits (as I non-so-lovingly call my down periods) I start to remove myself from anything positive. That includes my faith. So I've never intentionally tried to do magic, meditation, divination work etc while in that frame of mind. But... it is my faith in the divine and my purpose here that almost always brings me back. That and a medications switch... nonetheless, if it weren't for my faith I'd be lost for sure. Thank you for the wonderful post. Its always a good thing to know that we aren't alone!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Kourtney